Month: October 2018

How Dating Entitlement is Keeping You Single

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I came across an old article I had saved about dating entitlement back in 2013, and as a professional Des Moines matchmaker, I still find it a timeless piece about how conduct very much applies both in society, but especially in romance. The title, which says it all, is “If I Can’t Accept You At Your Worst, Then Maybe You Should Stop Being So Horrible”. https://themattwalshblog.com/if-i-cant-accept-you-at-your-worst-then-maybe-you-should-stop-being-so-horrible/

I have paraphrased the important excerpts below. If you are single in Des Moines and looking for love in the Midwest, you may want to heed the advice that the author (and your local matchmakers) suggest below.

“I was reminded of a meme we’ve all seen a thousand times, which I just ran across again as I pursued my Facebook page. It has a few variations, but it usually goes something like this: If you can’t accept me at my worst, then you don’t deserve me at my best.

This is such a popular sentiment that it has its own Facebook fan page with over 150 thousand “Likes.” Of course, the original quote is from Marilyn Monroe:

“I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”

Yes, it’s true that, in a marriage, we must love our spouses in spite of their flaws. It’s also true that we all have flaws. But it’s ALSO true that only an entitled person would ever treat a loved one with their “worst” and expect them to deal with it because their “best” will somehow compensate for it.

Newsflash: It’s not OK to be selfish, impatient, and out of control. These traits, while common, are unacceptable. They should not be accepted, least of all by the people you claim to love. The onus is on YOU to change your behavior and your attitude, not on them to “handle it.” These will not find you your Des Moines love of your life.

This philosophy is poison. Often I hear local singles complain that they ‘just want to find someone who will accept them, no matter what.’ But being “accepted” should not be our relationship goal. Healthy relationships are loving, but also challenging, edifying, and even occasionally painful.

Should we scoff at our husbands or wives or boyfriends or girlfriends and flippantly tell them to “handle it,” as we behave in ways that will hurt and offend them?

No. And if you think that, then you shouldn’t be getting into relationships at all. You aren’t ready.

Further, does our “best” (which probably isn’t as great as we imagine it to be) make up for, or negate, our “worst”?

No. Your worst is your worst. Fix it. Be better. Nobody should have to put up with it. Least of all the people you love.

Love is a transformative force, and if you want to experience it you better be ready to change in every way imaginable. My wife does not “accept me”, and thank God for that. She challenges me. She makes me better. In other words, she loves me.

What kind of a goal is that, anyway — just wanting to be put up with? Life is not about gaining “acceptance.” Life is change. It is not static and stagnant, do you really want your relationships to be?

We don’t emerge into the world as eternally entitled princes and princesses. We come into it as naked, crying, helpless babies. Our job is to grow out of that condition. And that will take a lot of changing and a lot of learning about what parts of us are unsuitable and insufficient and unacceptable. Sadly, some of us are unwilling to endure that process, so we never grow, and in failing to grow, we fail to live.

Don’t ask anyone to “accept” the bad parts of you. Instead, strive to improve those parts. Put in the effort. Make yourself worthy of the love they’ve offered you.

That means if you want better relationships in the Midwest, you have to earn them, and be the best version of yourself you can.”

In short, hiring a local matchmaking service will only take you so far. If you are emotionally unhealthy and mishandle your relationships, you will continually find yourself single again. A matchmaker in Iowa can only do so much. If you hire a dating coach in the area, they may be able to help you move forward with a more healthy outlook on dating in Des Moines, but you will have to work at it.

Are you finding dating in the Midwest leads to duds? Hire a local Midwest Matchmaker and let them help you! Contact Midwest Matchmaking at (833) 4MW-LOVE or visit us at www.midwestmatchmaking.com

Midwest Matchmaking’s 7 ‘Love Hacks’ to Keep Relationships Alive

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Many Midwest Matchmaking clients we work with are looking to their partners to replace the companionship and emotional support once provided by extended families and local institutions like churches, clubs and organizations. Meanwhile, many dating singles in the Midwest are so busy with their jobs and parenting that they’re actually spending less time together. Studies have shown that this could be related to the decline in people’s satisfaction with their relationships.

What can we do about this? Well, you either reduce your demands or increase your supply.  If you can’t do either of those, Dr. Eli Finkel, a psychotherapist who owns a laboratory at Northwestern, offers what he calls “love hacks” – proven techniques that takes little time or effort and doesn’t even require cooperation from your partner. These are not necessarily going to save your relationship if there are more serious problems going on, but they keep it from declining, and may at least keep it on track.

Below are 7 simple methods Midwest matchmakers suggest to help stave off stagnation in your partnership:

Assume the Best

If your partner does something wrong, don’t over-interpret it. Researchers have found that one of the biggest differences between happy and unhappy couples is their “attributional style” in explaining a partner’s offense. The unhappy couples tend to automatically attribute something like an unreturned phone call to a permanent inner flaw in the partner (“He’s too selfish to care about me”) rather than a temporary external situation, like an unusually busy day at work. When something goes wrong with your Midwest date, before drawing any conclusions about your partner, take a few seconds to consider an alternative explanation that puts the blame elsewhere.

Touch Your Partner

Local matchmakers recommend holding hands can win you points even when you don’t mean it, as demonstrated in an experiment with couples who watched a video together. Some people were instructed not to touch their partners during the video, while others were told to touch in a “warm, comfortable and positive way.” Afterward, the people who had been touched reported being more confident of being loved by their partner — and this effect occurred even when the people knew that their partners’ actions were being directed by the researchers. Their rational selves knew that the hand-holding wasn’t a spontaneous gesture of affection, but it made them feel better anyway.

Keep a Gratitude Journal

Once a week, write down a few things your partner has done to “invest in the relationship,” or anything they have done that week to help around the house, make you happy or even, write down what made you fall in love with them in the first place. Our Midwest Matchmakers Rekindling those early memories can do wonders for igniting that romantic spark, and reminding the two of you of why you came together in the first place, and will help you remember those positive qualities, even when you two are fighting. Look back at that journal each time you feel yourself getting heated about something they did wrong. Chances are, those feelings will probably dissipate.

Midwest Matchmaking Says, Mind Your Manners

Yes, doing what our our parents told us in our early years applies to your adult Midwest relationships. It is very easy to forget to display the simplest of gestures that really help a relationship maintain a sturdy foundation. A simple “Please” or “Thank you” shows a level of respect, gratitude, and affection for your partner. Plus, it’s just good manners.

Celebrate Small Victories

When your partner tells you about something that went right in his or her day, get excited about it! Ask questions so your partner can tell you more about the event and relive it. Put some enthusiasm into your voice and your reactions. When researchers studied couples who were trained to use these techniques in their evening discussions, it turned out that each partner took more pleasure from their own victories, and both partners ended up feeling closer to each other. By sharing the joy, everyone came out ahead, and these local singles were happier than before.

Accept a Compliment

One of the most common factors in failed marriages is that people with low self-esteem have a hard time believing their partner really loves them, so they often preemptively discount their partner’s affection in order to avoid being hurt by the expected rejection. Eventually, even when they start off with a loving partner, their worst fear comes true because their defensive behavior ends up driving the other person away. Matchmakers in the Midwest see this all the time with our clients.

In testing ways to counteract this anxiety, researchers asked insecure people to recall a specific compliment from their partner. Giving a detailed account of the situation and the compliment didn’t have any effect, apparently because these insecure people could dismiss it as a lucky aberration: “For once I did something right.”

Are you single in the Midwest and looking for a partner of your own to work on a relationship with? Give Midwest Matchmaking a call at (833) 4MW-LOVE or visit us at www.midwestmatchmaking.com

How Young Professionals in the Midwest Date Smart

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Life is hectic when you’re working your way to the top as a single in the Midwest. Trying to find time to date while getting your career in order can be a whole other ballgame, that you just don’t have the time to waste on just anyone. “Dating smart” is an essential tool any successful single in Nebraska and Iowa needs to utilize to ensure you’re meeting the right match for your busy lifestyle, and someone who understands that drive to get to the top.

Being a busy professional likely means outsourcing areas of your life to other professionals – whether that includes hiring landscapers for your lawn, maids for your home, nannies for your children, or…. a Midwest matchmaker for your love life. But there are other ways to ensure that you’re getting maximum value from your minimal free time.

An online article, https://notablelife.com/6-ways-to-date-smart-as-a-busy-young-professional/, outlines the ways busy career-climbers can “date smart” while still maintaining a healthy work/love/life balance without having to give up one for the other. Yes, even with working 60+ weeks, you can still find your Happily Ever After. Here’s how:

1. Hire a Local Midwest Matchmaking Service

Dating apps and online dating require even more of a workload than you already have. This is essentially a part-time job: weeding through profiles, chatting aimlessly with people that likely end up going nowhere, being ghosted, feeling like just another number on a screen, and wasting time meeting the wrong people who were sent to you via a computerized algorithm. Hiring a local Midwest matchmaking company will ensure that you receive the quality you’re looking for; not simply random dates with little potential for a romantic future.When you hire a local matchmaker in the Midwest, you are investing in a quality process, instead of wasting time on a numbers game you’re as likely to win as slots at a Vegas casino. Matchmakers in your area will actually spend a couple of hours getting to know you, and working with you over a one-year period to ensure they get a good handle on your type, your preferences, and what you may need to work on to improve your success.

2. Use the Date-Night-In to Your Advantage

If you work long hours, it’s fair to say you might be too tired to take your date out sometimes. Of course, this depends on the night and it depends on how you’re feeling. You may be in the mood to simply put your feet up at home rather than go out. A date-night-in is fine as long as you still put some effort in to show that you care enough not to become one of those lazy daters.  If you do go this route in dating a local single, make sure you put some thought into setting the ambiance at least: have a yummy scented candle lit, arrange your take out on nice dish ware, make sure your home (especially your bathroom) is cleaned, and have a bucket of popcorn and a movie ready. Set up your date night in with thought and attention to detail, and your Midwest date won’t even think twice that it is happening in your home.

3. Use Your Lunch Break to Go on Dates

At least once per week, forgo sushi with Alex from accounting and instead go on a Midwest lunch date. This works especially well if you meet a Nebraska single who works the same core hours as you do, and works close to your office. You have to eat lunch anyway, so you may as well make a date out of it. It’s also a great way to (hopefully) brighten your day before it’s even half over. And, consistency is key to early bonding. Waiting too long before seeing your date again can stall any chemistry or connection that is occurring. So, keep at the regular dates, even if they’re brief. I can assure you that your local match would much prefer seeing you for an hour rather than nothing at all. So nourish that budding relationship like you’re planning on nourishing that belly during your lunch.

4. Choose a Local Single Who has a Similar Lifestyle

You must choose your Midwest partners wisely. If you tend to work 12 hour days, you probably don’t want to date the freelance writer who only works 6 hours a day. Chances are, if there’s a huge contrast between the amounts of free time you both have, problems could arise. That’s not to say you can’t still give a relationship a try – but if he or she starts getting demanding of your time, that’s a red flag. Odds are, a relationship in the Midwest will work better with someone who is just as busy as you are. If you both get off work late, you’ll both be fine with going out for a late dinner or relaxing at home with late-night takeout. Similarly, if you both are working on side projects, you can order takeout and work on your respective projects while still spending time together. More than anything though, just ensuring that you two are in communication about your wants, needs and boundaries, will help to avoid any issues down the road. Honesty and communication really is the key to a successful relationship in the Midwest.

5. Steer Clear of the Overly Needy Types

The needy types often sweat the small stuff – which means they might not be cool with you canceling a dinner date due to working late. If things tend to come up last minute for you, you’ll need to date someone who skews more to the easy going side of things than the needy. If their life revolves around you, they’ll tend to get upset easily about a change in plans. However, if they have their own happy and busy life, they don’t need you as much – which is a good thing. Again, as mentioned above, if you’re dating in the Midwest, you know that we tend to value hard work and a solid work ethic. Hopefully, your partner shares that ambition, otherwise you may need to ask yourself if you need to start upping your standards in the career department a bit to find someone more on your level with his or her own life to focus on while you two are apart. This does not mean that it is permissible to completely ignore or otherwise not attempt to make time for your relationship; so make sure you are being honest with yourself and asking yourself if you are in fact, giving this person what he or she deserves.

6. Incorporate Your Partner into Your Work Life

Bring your single partner in the Midwest to work events, or ask him or her to come along when you have to go away for a weekend for a conference. Other ways of incorporating your partner into your work life include running ideas past them, getting work-related advice from them, and sharing career milestones with each other. If you’re busy, they can be busy with you too. Moreover, our local matchmakers advise that relationships are about sharing the ups and downs, and starting that early on once you two are more established. This will display to them that you are truly ready to bring a partner into your life and that you do have goals to stop being single and dating in the Midwest.

Now are you ready to hire your very own local Midwest matchmaker? Give Midwest Matchmaking a call at (833) 4MW-LOVE or visit us at www.midwestmatchmaking.com. Let’s find you the Midwest love of your life!

Dating After Divorce

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Yes, Midwest singles. There is life after divorce. And Midwest Matchmaking can help.

Jumping back into the Midwest dating scene as a newly divorced single again can feel like free falling head first over a gorge. Not only have dating styles and techniques perhaps changed since you last put yourself out there, but so has technology, certain etiquette related to that technology, and expectations.  Not to mention the overwhelm that dating apps cause, it’s no wonder divorcees now newly single in Iowa and Nebraska feel so lost, and have no clue where or how to start again.

Dating local singles will be a challenge at times, but the good news is, with the right formula, game plan and action-based results, you will be back on that horse in no time and mastering dating in the Midwest like it’s second nature. No doubt, you will feel shaky and inexperienced. Even being “out of the game” for a decade can change so much. You are not alone, and as a professional matchmaker for a decade, I see this all the time with my clients. But, human beings are adaptable, and with practice, help and determination, you will open you heart, find love and be happy again.

First, it’s important to remember to give yourself plenty of time to heal from a divorce. Leaving a marriage, even though you may have been emotionally ready to do years prior, is still like a death. A death of your old self, an old routine, and is essentially a catharsis that takes time to adapt to. So, allow yourself at least a year before getting back out there. Take time for YOU. Heal, see a therapist, make time for old friends, be alone and feel OK with that. Most importantly, if you have children, spend extra time with them, especially! They’ll need that time to adjust as well and will need to know they have their divided parents’, undivided attention.

Our local matchmakers in the Midwest know that time by yourself is when the most growth and self reflection occurs, and you want…no, you need that time to analyze what you will be doing differently in your dating life moving forward. What are your boundaries? What will you not tolerate? What are your deal breakers? Do you need to manage your expectations? What work do you need to do on yourself to be a good future partner? What do you bring to the table, and what do you expect your partner to bring? What do you value? It is crucial you know the answer to these questions because you want to learn from your relationship mistakes and grow from them, right?

Once you are ready to date local singles again, you will also need to date similar-minded people who are in the same place in their lives – meaning, do not rush into another serious relationship, because you will not be fully ready. Even if emotionally you’ve moved on, it will still take you time to adjust to your new dating life in the Midwest, your new routine, your freedom, your newly attained life lessons, and so on. Only date casually until you really figure out your next steps. Even better, don’t date at all right away.

Also, strongly consider completely quitting dating apps and hiring a professional Midwest matchmaking service. Once you are truly ready to meet your next Mr. or Ms. Right, why waste your time and energy on apps where there is an 81% failure rate? Outsource the most important aspects of your life if you can afford it, and go for quality in your dating options, rather than quantity. You will not regret the investing your faith (or your money) in our local matchmakers, and the quality of candidates you receive are unmatched.

You also want to make sure that you know exactly what a healthy, long-term relationship looks like, especially if you were married to someone abusive or narcissistic. Having that as your model of a committed relationship during the X number of years you were married may have had an affect on your judgment. This is where a therapist, a matchmaker in the Midwest, a Nebraska or Iowa dating coach, or a combination of them all, will really help your chances.

When you find that you are finally ready and willing to put yourself back on the market, consider hiring a local professional matchmaker and paying a little more for a quality Midwest dating service before hitting one of the many dating apps. Not only do they pose a risk to your life if you meet a psycho, but you also have to wade through thousands of spammers, cheaters, married men/women, and singles purely looking to hook up. You get what you pay for, so consider that because there is zero investment in a site like Tinder or Bumble, the people who tend to use these sites aren’t investing much else of themselves in other areas either (like actually looking for a serious relationship).

Once you have a road map of a partner that makes you happy, give attraction and chemistry a chance to develop, even if it takes five or more dates to figure it out. Then, look carefully for the “interior” traits that count, like kindness, reliability, consistency, honesty and intelligence first.

Make sure you are not judging profiles by their photo. This is something the matchmakers at Midwest Matchmaking will try to convince you on because, well…we know best! We cannot tell you how often we change someone’s minds about meeting someone they initially declined, only to watch them fall madly in love and go on to marriage, babies, and happiness. Be open! Give some credit to our Midwest matchmakers and trust that we know a thing or two about chemistry and the importance of determining that in person, and not over a one-dimensional photograph.

Our professional advice about attraction goes like this: you cannot tell whether or not you are attracted to someone in the long run simply by looking at their photo and dissecting every aspect you can see – which is extremely limiting and close-minded. To fall for someone, you need a heck of a lot more than a still photograph. You find chemistry with a person after you get to know them; their nuances, their passions, their quirks, learning about their struggles, how they dealt with them, their pain, their life lessons, what they can teach you, and most of all, their values and how they treat you and show up for you. Midwest love only grows over time, and unless you’re extremely shallow, looks are not everything and should not be the end all-be all. Besides, chemistry most times has nothing to do with a physical element you can see. It’s chemical, and it’s a freaking mystery.

Finally, if you still feel wary or anxious about going about dating solo, remember that our Midwest Matchmaking staff are reputable, qualified, experienced relationship coaches, and have Midwest coaching programs tailored specifically to dating post divorce. With a combined 30 years of professional matchmaking experience, the environment is welcoming, supportive and eager to help anyone who takes their love lives seriously enough to invest in a local matchmaker.

Ask your Midwest matchmaker for more details, and remember, we are here to help you find the next love of your life!

Contact us at www.midwestmatchmaking.com or (833)4MW-LOVE.

Do You Attract Commitment Phobes?

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If You’re Attracting Commitment-Phobes, Midwest Matchmakers Have a Word of Advice:

As Midwest matchmakers, we hear a lot of single dating stories, dissect our client’s dating histories and attempt to get to the underlying reason why they are having trouble dating, or getting a date to become a real, flourishing relationship.

If you have a history of partners who don’t stick around, even if they start out seemingly into you, there could be a few negative personality traits that signal a commitment-phobe that you’re overlooking on the first few dates. An article on the website, heartsintrueharmony.com, explains this common dating issue and how to avoid repeating the mistake.

You may have met a single in Iowa and Nebraska who seems enthralled. He or she alludes to long-term plans with you from the start, dropping subtle (or not-so-subtle) comments that seem to indicate something serious:

“Wait until you meet my sister – you two will really get along.”

Or…

“Wouldn’t it be great to go on a vacation together?”

Or even…

“Wow, I don’t think I’ve ever felt this way about someone.”

So, you become hopeful and start telling people you think you might have met The One.

And then the unthinkable happens. They do a 180 and tell you they’re not ready for a relationship. It’s not you, it’s them. Or worse: they ghost you altogether, without as much as an excuse or an explanation. Sound familiar?

What’s going on here? You want a genuine, lasting relationship in the Midwest. You’re a good local single. Why does this keep happening?

What You Attract Is No Accident

Are you doing something wrong? Are there just no decent, commitment-minded people out there? Or are you somehow deeply flawed or damaged – doomed to be loveless?

Well, there’s something you need to know that may be hard to hear, but ultimately can be the launching pad for you to end this painful pattern forever:

There is something within you that is causing you to keep attracting people who won’t commit. But it’s not that there’s something wrong with you.

On the contrary, what you are experiencing is simply a negative pattern of your own creation. And because you have created it, you can also UNDO it.

Is Your Subconscious Choosing Your Midwest Dates For You?

At some point in your life, early experiences dating in the Midwest (stemming even from childhood) and prior relationships led you to believe that finding lasting love was hard – that you had to work at it, or that people were bound to leave you, or that being happy in love was just luck of the draw.

When you are subconsciously operating from these limiting beliefs, you end up with… limited options! Because your subconscious believes that finding and keeping a great relationship is nothing short of an impossible feat for you, it LOOKS for opportunities to prove that this is true – and steers you away from the very thing you want most.

So, you will be drawn to local singles in the Midwest who won’t or can’t create a lasting relationship with you.

But it doesn’t have to be this way. Just as you were “programmed” with these beliefs, you can also consciously reprogram new, healthier beliefs that will completely shift the kind of person you attract.

If you keep attracting commitment-phobes, it’s not because there’s something wrong with you. Rather, you’re subconsciously operating from a limiting belief that is false.

It’s the belief that’s wrong, not you.

The minute you dismantle the wrong belief and replace it with a positive one, you also interrupt your usual pattern of attracting the wrong relationships – and start attracting the right one.

You might find it hard to believe that shifting underlying beliefs will do the trick, but we’ve seen it happen time and again with singles just like you who were previously stuck – and are now happily enjoying the relationship they’ve always yearned for.

Just like many of our Midwest Matchmaking clients, creating your happy ending means going to work uncovering your subconscious patterns and dissolving them one by one. Then you need to become very clear on what you want – and don’t want – in a mate. Finally, it’s time to get yourself into the right physical, mental, and emotional space for love, and Midwest matchmakers can help you do that.

Everyone has the power to change the course of their own love life, no matter how hopeless things may seem. That is why the local matchmakers here at Midwest matchmaking have worked for more than 30 years combined helping individuals remove the subconscious barriers that are keeping them from the true love they deserve.

10 Dating Success Tips For Local Singles

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This week, our Midwest matchmakers worked together to contribute a few ideas each to compile for our clients, or anyone single in the Midwest, to aid in their success on dates. Being that we’ve been in this business for more than 30 years combined, we may know a trick or two about how to successfully date in the Midwest. Below are five tips to help anyone who is single and looking for straight-forward, cut-to-the-chase ways to help find the Midwest love of their life:

1. Figure out what you want

So many people don’t realize that this most crucial step starts with themselves, and not this other person you have yet to meet. Do not get so wrapped up in “finding love” or “pleasing others” that you forget what you want out of this very important aspect of your life. You don’t need to pick whoever will have you. However, you also don’t need to obsess about every little detail, especially things that haven’t happened yet (the “What Ifs”). A general idea of what you would like from a partner is best. How would you like them to act? What would you like them to do? How should they treat you? What type of relationship are you looking for? Take a moment (or longer) and figure it out. When you do, this is where our local matchmakers can help!

2. Decide what you will give in return

There is no such thing as getting something for nothing. Dating and relationships are no exception. So, what are you planning to bring to the exchange? Be honest – don’t undersell or oversell yourself. Think about all of the strengths, benefits, and positive qualities you have to share with a partner. Conversely, know your limitations, struggles, challenges and what aspect of yourself that needs work. Have a clear idea about who you are, and what you are going to give back to them.

3. Check your expectations

Take a good look at what you want versus what you’re willing to give. Does it match up? Is it a realistic trade? Make sure the exchange you’re planning is equitable and fair, for both you and for your prospective partners. Make it a good deal on both ends. If you’re overweight (and it’s something that bothers you) and you are in the process of getting to your weight goals, do not expect the perfect physique in your local dates. If you are not at your target goal yet, it is unfair and unrealistic to expect that quality in your partner. Get to your goal first, and then you can “up” your expectations a bit. Are you a smoker and hoping to quit “when you meet the right person”? Our Midwest matchmakers say that’s the wrong approach. Quit smoking first, that way you are more desirable and have more “selling power” to local singles. It also displays a level of ambition and goal-orientation, which other Midwest singles find an attractive quality in a mate.

4. Know your dating market (what “they” want)

Here is where you take into consideration what your potential partners might want. But, you don’t have to be so vague and guess about all men, women, etc. You know what you want. So, search for the Iowa and Nebraska singles who match that, and find out what they want. For example, if you want a healthy, active woman… talk to a few in your area and find out what they like. If you’re looking for creative men, then check out what they are into. Shop around. Get to know the dating market you’re interested in – and what they are looking for in return. You want to do your research in the Midwest dating scene to know what you’re up against, and what you bring to the table. Think of it as your Master’s thesis of the local dating world. When you have the knowledge, you have power.

5. Assess your options

Once you know your dating market, you can see who might be interested in an exchange. Find the partners who fit with what you want. Qualify and assess them. Then see whether what you’re willing to give matches up with their wants too. Negotiate a little and see what works. Is it a good fit? Can you strike a deal? Is it a win-win? See what your options for “trading partners” look like.

6. Pick an option or reassess your plan

If you find a good deal, go with it. Especially when the relationship is fair, satisfying, and the best alternative for both you and them. However, if you don’t like your options, then it is time to rethink the steps above. Go through them again. Is what you want a little unrealistic? Do you need to give a little more to get who you really want? Are your expectations unrealistic? Do you need to try a different Midwest dating group, time, location to find someone to connect with? Ask an honest friend who has a successful relationship themselves, and them to be completely honest with you about who you are looking for, and what you have to bring to the dating table.

7. Hire a local Midwest Matchmaking service

If swiping, filtering through endless (and likely many inappropriate) messages, being ghosted or having little time to do any of the above, sound like fun to you, then…best of luck! However, if you’re like most singles in the Midwest, none of that has any appeal to you, and you may start thinking of other options. Where do you find dates in Iowa or Nebraska? Where else besides a bar can you meet singles in your area? Well, a matchmaking service in the Midwest! This is where we come in. By hiring a local matchmaker, you are essentially paying for a professional to do all of the grunt work for you. The means no more being stood up, no more safety issues.

8. Be open to relocating

If finding dates in the Midwest is seeming bleak, especially if you’re in a small town, be open-minded to other career or living opportunities! Many people have made long distance dating work, and at some point, if the connection is strong enough and the person is special enough, why give them up just because of a little inconvenience? Have a plan in place to potentially move if it got more serious. Having a Plan B for your career is a good idea anyway, so use this challenge as another opportunity to grow – and maybe be closer to the love of your life.

9. Be yourself.

No matter what, the goal is to be the best version of yourself possible, so be confident in who you are, and stay positive. With all of these characteristics and a healthy mindset in place, you will find the Midwest love of your life in no time.

10. Never give up

Dating is a numbers game, and the more people you meet, the more avenues you use (online dating, local matchmakers, Midwest singles events, etc.) the more options you will have.

Repeat, refine, and rework the process. Eventually, you will find a connection (or several) that works. Happy love-hunting!

Having trouble dating in the Midwest? That’s why we’re in business! Let our local Iowa and Nebraska matchmakers help you find success in your love life today! Call us at (833) 4MW-LOVE or visit us at www.midwestmatchmaking.com

3 Successful Tips for Dating a Busy Person

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If you have been dating in the Midwest for a while and have encountered those Iowa singles who are always on the go, focused on their careers or traveled often for work, you know that making the time to meet them for a drink was nearly impossible. This, of course, is something we see often with Midwest Matchmaking clients: they seek a local matchmaking service, go through the arduous process of hiring us, and they have limited availability for us to arrange their dates. And, a lot of times, this frustrates their dates, who are eagerly waiting to meet them – either for a first date, or anxiously awaiting that 2nd or 3rd.

Before you discount meeting these busybodies, take these aspects into consideration: When the economy tanked, the job market became unbelievably competitive. It caused a lot of people to shift their priorities and the mindset became to find a job, keep a job or become an entrepreneur. Though love has taken a backseat to employment and financial security, the need to find love is still there and there millions of professional singles in the Midwest who are looking for their perfect match. Which is why they hired Midwest Matchmaking in the first place

Timing is everything, especially dating in the Midwest, where traditionally, the work ethic is strong; and it takes a lot of patience and understanding to date a career-minded single. It’s definitely not for the needy or insecure and it takes a lot of work for both parties to build and nurture a romantic relationship. Although it’s a lot of work, it can be well worth your time if you see something special within that person. And, look at the bright side, you’re dating someone who is local, successful and ambitious! It’s certainly better than the alternative, for some. As matchmakers in the Midwest, we actually hear all the time that our clients want someone driven, not lazy, a go-getter, and who has the means to enjoy life with them. You sure wouldn’t get that level of a drive from someone who is stationary in life. You take the good with the bad, in this case.

If you are a busy professional, dating another busy professional or at least considering it, here are Midwest Matchmaking’s top tips on how to make the most of your time together and make it work for you. This article on using the Law of Attraction in dating is another good resource, written by one of our own! 

1. Use Technology

Dating singles in the Midwest who are constantly on the go can be hard. Thanks to cell phones and video chats though, now you have almost every tool in your tech arsenal to bridge the gap and spend more time with your date, even if it’s over a screen. Text messages, pictures, video chat, instant message are all viable means of staying bridging connected and building on that chemistry. Chances are, they are already using these tools for work, so getting them to engage shouldn’t be that difficult if they are considering making it work with you.

Don’t underestimate the power of a phone call. Even if they can only chat for a short while, or if you have to leave a voicemail, hearing your voice can still put a smile on their face. At least you are making an effort and if the action is returned, you know that they making an effort with you.

2. Make The Most of Your Time Together and Start-Off Casual

For the early stages of dating through Midwest Matchmaking, scheduling will be key, and we will do that part for you anyway (the first and second dates, that is). Sometimes, you will have work to find ways to be more efficient with the time you do have available. The busy person has a clear understanding of the value of time so when you do have time together, focus on having fun and enjoying each other’s company.

Also make it a point to create exciting and memorable moments The more intimate, the better because this is the time you can use to nurture the relationship that is forming. Not every date has to be extravagant and over the top. Simplicity can be bliss for someone who deals with high-pressure work environments. By now you should have an idea of some things that make him or her tick. Use it to your advantage and they will appreciate it. And, you can always ask your Midwest matchmaker for advice. We’re here to help!

Take your time to feel the person out. Go on a number of coffee or lunch dates in your area and get to know the person. Focus on the conversation and see if you can understand their lifestyle of a busy single. Find ways in which you can relate to each other and make a connection. This will also give you an idea as to how busy your date really is and how open he or she really is to a relationship should the feelings develop.

Sometimes people will say they are busy, but as matchmakers in the Midwest, we sometimes hear that really, they are using it as an excuse to cover the fact that they are either afraid of commitment, looking for booty calls rather than a relationship or simply not that into you.

Measure the level of exchange. Just because your local dates are more casual in nature doesn’t mean that there shouldn’t be a healthy level of give and take. After a few dates and conversations, you should have a better understanding as to if there is a genuine interest to connect on a romantic level versus a busy schedule being a symptom of reluctance. At that point, make a decision and see if this is something you want to explore.

3. Be Realistic

Should you decide to explore the relationship you want, make sure you have a realistic expectation when you get started. Matchmakers in your area are pros at being honest to our clients about what their expectations should be. If both parties are on the same page about moving forward, you need to make sure all expectations are laid out on the table and discussed. Make sure you communicate your needs and you listen to theirs.

Also, make sure you honest about your comfort level. If your date is only available to see you on the weekends or is out of town on business for two weeks out of the month, are you going to be OK with that? Certain aspects of his or her career are not going to change anytime soon and you have to make sure you are prepared. If not, you may have to accept that this just isn’t the right time to try to start a relationship with this person, and move on. There are plenty of singles in the Midwest – go fishing for some, or let Midwest Matchmaking help with that.

All in all, if there is a genuine connection with someone, don’t let their busy lifestyles intimidate you. Be confident! Show them you can handle it (or are willing to try). At least give it a shot. Busy people need love, too.

Dating a busy single in the Midwest have you frustrated? Let our local matchmakers at Midwest Matchmaking help! Give us a call at (833) 4MW-LOVE today, or visit us at www.midwestmatchmaking.com!

How To Easily Avoid Two Of Today’s Worst Dating Trends

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In today’s realm of dating in the Midwest, anything can happen. With online dating becoming increasingly popular, some Midwest dating trends have soared — and NOT in a good way. This is why local dating companies like Midwest Matchmaking are in business – to outsource all of the frustrating aspects of dating to professionals.

Particularly with online dating in the Midwest, comes many negative aspects. Not only are you glued to your phone, aimlessly swiping left and right, but you are also now a part of a world that has minimal accountability. You may experience local singles who are terrible at responding to texts and returning calls, or even the people who intentionally only message you late at night.

None of these dating singles are among the worst, however. Today, three of the worst dating trends are making finding true love increasingly difficult, and even downright frustrating!

The Worst Dating Trends, “Ghosting” was considered one of the first negative online dating trends among Midwest singles. Ghosting, put simply, is when communication goes well, then the person on the other side of the phone simply disappears, nowhere to be found. This is particularly upsetting when a desire to go on a first date has developed on one side, while the other side has completely lost interest.

Now is time for the worst news: Ghosting has evolved.

Ghosting has silently evolved into something a little worse that matchmakers in the Midwest have experienced through our clients’ stories: submarining. While this is similar to ghosting, it is more evolved (and a little more dramatic too), because it often occurs after the couple has already had a first date. One side of the connection is hopeful for another date, while the other side, disappears without an exchange of words.

Worse than submarining is “cushioning”. In fact, it’s probably one of THE WORST current trends. It is absolutely disrupting the dating world and all the genuine singles who are simply looking for a partner to conquer life with. Cushioning occurs when one (or both) of the people involved, for lack of better words, lines up other dates, just in case the new relationship falls apart. This is among the worst dating trends because it is disrespectful to the new relationship you have cultivated, and shows a lack of focus on the person you are publicly dating.

The Easy Solution

Unfortunately, these trends are more popular than they deserve to be. Many genuine singles in the Midwest have fallen victim to these trends, as well as others. Fortunately for you, there is one easy solution! Dump the online dating, and work with a Midwest matchmaking service! Local matchmaking services deplete the possibility of these trends occurring.

In fact, here at Midwest Matchmaking, we are dedicated to finding each single their true love, without the pain of disappearing dates, unread texts, and unheard voicemails. We personally meet each, and every person, and then hand-pick your dates, based on what YOU want! Our screening process allows us to weed out any individuals who are not serious about finding a life-long partner. In addition, our feedback system allows us to receive feedback from each individual, after every date. If something happens, we know about it, and are able to quickly address it in order to keep it from occurring in the future. Fortunately, at Midwest Matchmaking, most of our clients have already tried online dating mediums, going on blind dates, agreeing to be set up, and still, have not found the one for them!

Midwest matchmakers are dedicated to providing the best experience for each individual, with the ultimate goal of helping them safely find true love! There is no submarining or mentally lining up alternatives to you. There’s no more swiping, eyes glued to the phone screen, or no-shows. Here, there are matchmakers in the Midwest who are dedicated to getting to know you, finding someone who is good for you, all while making sure it is safe, fun, and successful.

Are you sick of being stood up on dates? Are you finding that dating in the Midwest is leading to dead ends? Our team of exclusive Midwest matchmakers are here to help. Give us a call at (833) 4MW-LOVE today!

How The Law Of Attraction Will Get You Better Dates

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Here at Midwest Matchmaking, our local matchmakers are drawn to the concept of the Law of Attraction because of its potential for results, not only in your life, but in your dating life as well. Here, our dating experts have many tricks up their sleeves when considering who to match our clients with, and this method is one of them!

Below, taken from the website (www.thelawofattraction.com), here are 10 ways in which you can use this powerful spiritual tool to aid in your search for Mr. or Mrs. Right.

1. Midwest Matchmakers Recommend Developing A Positive Attitude To Love

It’s so easy to be held back by negative, limiting beliefs about manifesting love. While you might think you’re sufficiently positive if you’re aware that you yearn for romance and daydream about being with that special someone, it pays to take a critical look at your underlying assumptions.

Perhaps painful Midwest dating experiences have left you worrying that love can’t last, or you have niggling doubts about actively pursuing a partner because “finding your soul mate should happen naturally.” In either case, you’re holding limiting beliefs that stop you from using your full power to attract a mate.

To develop a positive attitude about dating in the Midwest, try spending at least half an hour writing out a list of negative assumptions you might be making about love. For each belief, write down a challenge, and focus on that challenge.

For example “Relationships are always painful in the end” becomes “When I meet the right person, my relationship will be satisfying and joyful.”

2. Learn To Love Yourself

While it might sound like a cliché, our team of local matchmakers in the Midwest believe it is crucial to have a positive attitude towards yourself if you’re going to use the Law of Attraction as an effective tool in your love life to create a Midwest love connection. Basically, being down on yourself prevents you from sending out the right signals about what you want from other people, and it also encourages others to view you in a negative light.

As with negative beliefs about love, the key to correcting the harmful beliefs you have about yourself is to really dig deep into your memories and your past, identifying exactly what these beliefs are and working out where they came from. As you make a list of these assumptions, write down their origins and a replacement belief that is more positive and productive.

For example “I’m not attractive enough to deserve a great lover” could be marked as something you believe because of someone who bullied you at school, and a challenge could be “Many friends and acquaintances make positive comments about my appearance” (or even “Everyone is attractive enough to deserve a great lover.”)

3. Take Something Good From Every Date

Of course, not every date is going to leave you feeling elated and fantasizing about spending the rest of your life with the other person. However, if you ensure that you take something good from every date, you maintain a positive attitude towards dating more broadly—and you learn useful things that bring you another step closer to the right relationship.

When you’re on a date, try to exist purely in the present moment—this “mindful dating” approach helps you be more open to possibilities, and boosts your chances of enjoying yourself. Meanwhile, once the date is over, figure out at least one productive lesson that you’ve learned.

4. Let Relationships Evolve Naturally

As noted above, there’s nothing wrong with seeing romance as something that requires effort and energy (rather than sitting back and waiting for someone great to arrive on your doorstep).

However, you’re shooting yourself in the foot if you let your mind leap ahead, creating a negative narrative that may never come to pass. If you think about it, such dread is actually a form of creative visualization—according to our local matchmakers, you’re reducing your chances of finding love if you spend all your time imagining your date won’t text back or didn’t find your company enjoyable. Stay focused on your other pursuits and on any positive feelings you have about the developing relationship, and just let it all unfold.

5. Visualize Every Day

Speaking of creative visualization, make sure you spend at least 10-15 minutes a day imagining the relationship context that you want to be in. Using the full force of your imagination, build up every detail of how it feels to be loved and cherished, and try to take this feeling wherever you go—this is part of “living in the knowing” (a  technique involving acting as though you already have what you need).

Further, remember that visualizations are more powerful when they involve all senses—imagine the touch, taste, smell and sounds of your ideal partner.

6. Break Out Of Your Comfort Zone

Thinking outside the box is a fantastic way to increase your chances of success in the Midwest dating world. While this is a common piece of advice, it is especially likely to be successful when combined with the positive attitude and eagerness to learn discussed above.

Know that you can and will find the right person for you, and be playful and curious when it comes to new approaches (e.g. online dating, local matchmaking services speed dating, or being set up with a friend-of-a-friend).

7. Make A Dream, or Vision Board

This is one of the 6 Physical Steps to attracting love, things you can do right NOW.

If you’re a single in the Midwest, and have been learning about the Law of Attraction for a while, you’re probably already familiar with dream boards—and you should definitely make one about your dating life!

Fill it with images that represent what you want in dating (whether they’re your photographs or clippings from magazines), and put it in a prominent location. Feel free to include words that resonate with you as well.

8. Let Your True Self Shine

Professional matchmaking experts tend stress the importance of authenticity—if you’re not living life as the person you really are, you’re inhibiting your ability to attract what you really want. When it comes to dating local singles, the message here is that you should be honest and forthright about your personality, passions and interests.

9. Design Dating Affirmations

Another staple Law of Attraction technique our Midwest matchmakers use are affirmations. These can work wonders for your confidence and help you tune into your belief that you can achieve your goals. For example, try saying “Whatever the outcome, I’m going to have a great time” into the mirror before meeting your date, or saying “I’m excited, happy and ready to meet my match” every morning—you never know who you might meet!

10. Be Open To Surprise

Finally, try not to make snap judgments about dating singles. They might look the part yet be boring underneath, or they may appear a bit scruffy and yet conceal the wicked sense of humor you’ve been waiting for.

While it’s great to have a clear idea of your wants and needs in a relationship, it’s equally important not to rule people out without giving them a chance. Trust that the universe is sending the right people your way, whether for learning or for lifelong love!

Dating in the Midwest have you down? Let Midwest Matchmaking help prepare you for first date success. Call us today at (833) 4MW-LOVE.