Things To Consider When Dating After Divorce23 Jul 2018
Jumping back into the dating scene as a newly divorced single again can feel like free falling head first over a gorge. Not only have dating styles perhaps changed since you last put yourself out there, but so has the technology, certain etiquette related to that technology, and expectations. Not to mention the overwhelm that dating apps cause, it’s no wonder divorcees feel so lost, and have no clue where or how to start again
First, it’s important to remember to give yourself plenty of time to heal from a divorce. Leaving a marriage, even though you may have been emotionally ready to do years prior, is still like a death. A death of your old self, an old routine, and is essentially a catharsis that takes time to adapt to. So, allow yourself at least a year before getting back out there.
Take time for YOU.
Heal, see a therapist, make time for old friends, be alone and feel OK with that.
Most importantly, if you have children, spend extra time with them, especially! They’ll need that time to adjust as well and will need to know they have their divided parents’, undivided attention.
Determine what is ideal for you in a partner.
You also want to make sure that you know exactly what a healthy, long-term relationship looks like, especially if you were married to someone abusive or narcissistic. Having that as your model of a committed relationship during the X number of years you were married may have had an effect on your judgment.
Consider resources to assist in your new journey.
When you find that you are finally ready and willing to put yourself back on the market, consider hiring a local professional matchmaker and paying a little more for a quality Midwest dating service before hitting one of the many dating apps.
Evaluate the quality of a dating app or online dating service.
Not only do they pose a risk to your life if you meet a psycho with some datings apps, but you also have to wade through thousands of spammers, cheaters, married men/women, and singles purely looking to hook up.
You get what you pay for, so consider that because there is zero investment in a site like Tinder or Bumble, the people who tend to use these sites aren’t investing much else of themselves in other areas either (like actually looking for a serious relationship).
Start to build your “ideal” partner
Once you have a road map of a partner that makes you happy, give attraction and chemistry a chance to develop, even if it takes five or more dates to figure it out. Then, look carefully for the “interior” traits that count, like kindness, reliability, consistency, honesty, and intelligence first.
Call Midwest Matchmaking for quality connections!
Finally, if you still feel wary or anxious about going about dating solo, remember that our Midwest Matchmaking staff are reputable, qualified, experienced relationship coaches, and have coaching programs tailored specifically to dating post-divorce!