5 Ideas for Keeping First Date Conversation Flowing06 Sep 2018
In our work as professional matchmakers, we can definitely understand the first date jitters. All the work that has brought you to this point – coaching you through the many ways you can best represent who you are and what’s important to you – has led to this moment.
As much as we’d like, as dating matchmakers, we can’t tag along on the first date and help you keep the conversation flowing (and you really wouldn’t want us to!).
So, what do you talk about with someone you’re meeting for the first time? Along with the internal dialog you have running in your head, you’ve got a lot going on trying to be yourself, remain engaged and seem interesting.
We are here to tell you that you are all of those things and more. And, any professional relationship coach worth their salt will prepare you for this moment. That’s what we do at Midwest Matchmaking!
Here are a few conversation techniques that we’ve suggested our previous Des Moines matchmaking clients use. Given our success at making Midwest love connections, we’re pretty sure they work, and they can work for you, too.
1. Avoid “yes” or “no” questions.
Ask something of your date that requires more than a one-word answer so you can get a little more insight into who they are as a person. “That is such an interesting tie! Where did you get it?” requires an answer beyond the mere “thanks.”
2. Comment on his or her appearance.
Everyone feels more comfortable when he or she know you see them and appreciate what you see. “Your necklace is really gorgeous” or “I really like your hair styled that way” can put someone at ease. Knowing you accept the other person for who they are is a significant first step.
3. Accept the compliment.
All too often we are programmed to deflect the compliments we do receive. “Oh, this old thing? It’s nothing,” or, “I don’t really like this tie, I just wore it because it matches the shirt,” doesn’t take the conversation anywhere. Say “thank you” and ask a question in return to keep the dialogue going. “Thanks! I got this tie on my last vacation. Did you take a vacation this year? Do you like to travel?”
4. Be upfront.
There is nothing wrong with expressing that you’re a little tense in this new situation. You can bet the other person is feeling the same nervous dating jitters, and this shared emotion can give you a way to connect immediately. Being open and honest is always a good idea.
5. Have some questions in your back pocket.
Without being too scripted, it never hurts to have a few “icebreaker” questions you can pull out if the conversation stalls and you need them. To get some ideas, check out a fun book, If: Questions for the Game of Life, where you can find all sorts of thought-provoking questions for discussion. For example, “If you could have dinner with anyone in history (living or dead) who would that be and why?” It can definitely fill some awkward silences and who knows where these conversations might lead!
It goes without saying that trying to relax and have a good time should be priority number one with preparing for a first date. Without having to focus so intently on what to say and what not to say, we predict things will go just swell. It’s what Midwest Matchmakers has prepared you to do. No sweat.
Dating conversations got you tongue-tied? Let Midwest Matchmaking help prepare you for first date success. Call us today at (833) 4MW-LOVE.