This week, our Midwest matchmakers worked together to contribute a few ideas each to compile for our clients, or anyone single in the Midwest, to aid in their success on dates. Being that we’ve been in this business for more than 30 years combined, we may know a trick or two about how to successfully date in the Midwest. Below are five tips to help anyone who is single and looking for straight-forward, cut-to-the-chase ways to help find the Midwest love of their life:
1. Figure out what you want
So many people don’t realize that this most crucial step starts with themselves, and not this other person you have yet to meet. Do not get so wrapped up in “finding love” or “pleasing others” that you forget what you want out of this very important aspect of your life. You don’t need to pick whoever will have you. However, you also don’t need to obsess about every little detail, especially things that haven’t happened yet (the “What Ifs”). A general idea of what you would like from a partner is best. How would you like them to act? What would you like them to do? How should they treat you? What type of relationship are you looking for? Take a moment (or longer) and figure it out. When you do, this is where our local matchmakers can help!
2. Decide what you will give in return
There is no such thing as getting something for nothing. Dating and relationships are no exception. So, what are you planning to bring to the exchange? Be honest – don’t undersell or oversell yourself. Think about all of the strengths, benefits, and positive qualities you have to share with a partner. Conversely, know your limitations, struggles, challenges and what aspect of yourself that needs work. Have a clear idea about who you are, and what you are going to give back to them.
3. Check your expectations
Take a good look at what you want versus what you’re willing to give. Does it match up? Is it a realistic trade? Make sure the exchange you’re planning is equitable and fair, for both you and for your prospective partners. Make it a good deal on both ends. If you’re overweight (and it’s something that bothers you) and you are in the process of getting to your weight goals, do not expect the perfect physique in your local dates. If you are not at your target goal yet, it is unfair and unrealistic to expect that quality in your partner. Get to your goal first, and then you can “up” your expectations a bit. Are you a smoker and hoping to quit “when you meet the right person”? Our Midwest matchmakers say that’s the wrong approach. Quit smoking first, that way you are more desirable and have more “selling power” to local singles. It also displays a level of ambition and goal-orientation, which other Midwest singles find an attractive quality in a mate.
4. Know your dating market (what “they” want)
Here is where you take into consideration what your potential partners might want. But, you don’t have to be so vague and guess about all men, women, etc. You know what you want. So, search for the Iowa and Nebraska singles who match that, and find out what they want. For example, if you want a healthy, active woman… talk to a few in your area and find out what they like. If you’re looking for creative men, then check out what they are into. Shop around. Get to know the dating market you’re interested in – and what they are looking for in return. You want to do your research in the Midwest dating scene to know what you’re up against, and what you bring to the table. Think of it as your Master’s thesis of the local dating world. When you have the knowledge, you have power.
5. Assess your options
Once you know your dating market, you can see who might be interested in an exchange. Find the partners who fit with what you want. Qualify and assess them. Then see whether what you’re willing to give matches up with their wants too. Negotiate a little and see what works. Is it a good fit? Can you strike a deal? Is it a win-win? See what your options for “trading partners” look like.
6. Pick an option or reassess your plan
If you find a good deal, go with it. Especially when the relationship is fair, satisfying, and the best alternative for both you and them. However, if you don’t like your options, then it is time to rethink the steps above. Go through them again. Is what you want a little unrealistic? Do you need to give a little more to get who you really want? Are your expectations unrealistic? Do you need to try a different Midwest dating group, time, location to find someone to connect with? Ask an honest friend who has a successful relationship themselves, and them to be completely honest with you about who you are looking for, and what you have to bring to the dating table.
7. Hire a local Midwest Matchmaking service
If swiping, filtering through endless (and likely many inappropriate) messages, being ghosted or having little time to do any of the above, sound like fun to you, then…best of luck! However, if you’re like most singles in the Midwest, none of that has any appeal to you, and you may start thinking of other options. Where do you find dates in Iowa or Nebraska? Where else besides a bar can you meet singles in your area? Well, a matchmaking service in the Midwest! This is where we come in. By hiring a local matchmaker, you are essentially paying for a professional to do all of the grunt work for you. The means no more being stood up, no more safety issues.
8. Be open to relocating
If finding dates in the Midwest is seeming bleak, especially if you’re in a small town, be open-minded to other career or living opportunities! Many people have made long distance dating work, and at some point, if the connection is strong enough and the person is special enough, why give them up just because of a little inconvenience? Have a plan in place to potentially move if it got more serious. Having a Plan B for your career is a good idea anyway, so use this challenge as another opportunity to grow – and maybe be closer to the love of your life.
9. Be yourself.
No matter what, the goal is to be the best version of yourself possible, so be confident in who you are, and stay positive. With all of these characteristics and a healthy mindset in place, you will find the Midwest love of your life in no time.
10. Never give up
Repeat, refine, and rework the process. Eventually, you will find a connection (or several) that works. Happy love-hunting!
Having trouble dating in the Midwest? That’s why we’re in business! Let our local Iowa and Nebraska matchmakers help you find success in your love life today! Call us at (833) 4MW-LOVE or visit us at www.midwestmatchmaking.com