Our last blog focused on Des Moines singles finding love in the New Year, and the 5 ways they could accelerate their success to a genuine connection. Now, Midwest Matchmaking discusses 5 Love Resolutions every couple should make (and stick to!) to ensure their love lasts.
See? Our local matchmakers don’t only offer love tips to Des Moines singles, but you lovebirds as well. We’re not only in business to create happily-ever-afters, but to ensure that the love created actually lasts.
Below, Midwest Matchmaking’s 5 Love Resolutions you and your partner should be making to get to relationship bliss:
#1. Be selfish
It’s unrealistic to expect to be together all the time, and happy couples understand that each partner will need some time on their own. Allow for some space for the both of you to reconnect with other loved ones, and to focus on your own passions and interests that you may have had prior to this exciting new relationship.
Of course, it’s normal to be so wrapped up in each other in the first few months that you tended to neglect other life responsibilities, or friends. But, it’s not healthy if your boyfriend/girlfriend is your only interest. At this point, you could be exhibiting some co-dependence or using this person (unconsciously) as a crutch to avoid other areas of your life.
Every Des Moines couple needs to keep the mystery alive, so remember the old adage, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder” and let them miss you a little.
#2. Schedule time together
The opposite end of the spectrum from “Rule #1” above is to make sure this person is your priority…and knows it! Meaning, you may have to do a little communication in your relationship. (That’s a joke. You should always be communicating in your relationship!) Everyone leads such busy lives these days that this is often easier said than done. Local matchmakers advise not allowing life (yes, that even means kids, activities, work, etc.) to come before your next date night.
Set aside an evening once a week, or during the weekend, that will be your time together. You don’t have to go away or spend lots of money – but do something together. Keep it new and incorporate other friends or couples into the mix as well. The stronger your social ties are around you, the more success your relationship is found to have!
Once these times are scheduled in, make them a priority. Treat them as you would an important appointment, and don’t give yourself the option to cancel.
#3. Talk to each other
Refer to the first paragraph of Rule #2. Communication is essential to any thriving relationship, and our local matchmakers see this all of the time: fantastic match possibilities ruined because someone played the Passive Aggressive game, or had too much ego to confront their partner with a vulnerability of theirs, so instead they did the easier thing by walking away from the relationship.
Guess what? Learning how to live with another human being (especially one of the opposite sex) is profoundly challenging, and sometimes impossible! But, dishonesty, addictions or personality disorders aside, pretty much anything can be worked through, so talk! Some of your time together should be spent talking about what you like and don’t like about the relationship, what you are thinking and feeling… basically, catching up with how the relationship is doing. Make sure you regularly talk to each other about what’s gone on for you during the day.
Des Moines love connections should spend 10-15 minutes each day to share their news with each other, whether it be about work, the children, the house or your wider family. Make time to be in touch with what’s going on in each other’s worlds.
#4. Be able to discuss uncomfortable topics
It’s not just the quantity of conversations you can have together, but the quality of them. Meaning, don’t be afraid to approach uncomfortable topics and discuss them like respectful adults. What’s important is to be able to talk about what makes you happy and what you think works well between you, but you need to be secure enough with your partner to speak up if something isn’t right.
So often, couples form a kind of ‘mutual appreciation society’ where they feel frightened to rock the boat. If you can’t say what’s making you unhappy, then it will fester – and it won’t sort itself out.
#5. Take a break from your kids
Finding someone you can trust to look after your children for you on a regular basis is one of the hardest things to do, but for Des Moines singles serious about putting love first, this move will be elemental to your success. Handing over your motherly (or fatherly) duties for the night is one of the biggest favors you can do for your relationship. It is a way to salvage that valuable “couple” time and it’s good for children to get a break from you as well!
So many times our Des Moines matchmakers see couples where the parents have become submerged under the demands of parenthood and have forgotten they are a couple, and individuals. That’s not a positive thing for anyone in the family.
Single parents need to make sure they retain some identity separate from their children. And children need to know that their parents need time on their own, and that whenever they go away, they’ll always come back.
What is your Des Moines Love Resolution, and how can Midwest Matchmaking help that become a reality?
Call us today to find out: (515) 414-3536 or www.midwestmatchmaking.com