The first date. Just the words can cause perspiration and fear in even the most confident Kansas City singles. With so much riding on this one, all-important event, first dates can be really nerve-wracking. They can also be the beginning of life-long possibilities. It’s all in how you look at it.
At Midwest Matchmaking, we’ve built our dating service reputation on setting you up for success around that all-important first date. This article shares some of the most important things we’ve learned by helping other KC singles just like you. When it comes to contemplating “the ask” or actually showing up for the first face-to-face meeting, there are some tips that can make it more bearable, and even fun.
Knowing When the Time is Right to Ask
Asking someone out on a date, either in an online dating situation or in person, requires thoughtful timing. You wouldn’t want to spring the question right out of the gate. Take the time you need to make sure the other Kansas City resident is someone you really want to give up an evening of your life to meet.
That doesn’t mean you should go on for years exchanging online messages either. That can set up both parties for unrealistic expectations which are difficult to meet. If you have connected with someone and you are contemplating asking for that first date, a good rule of thumb is to take this action within about a month of first connecting. Just do it. What do you have to lose?
How to Handle First Date Jitters
If you’ve scheduled the first KC date and now wonder how on earth you’ll ever be able to attend that date without sweating through your suit, just take a deep breath. This is normal, and chances are the person you are preparing to meet feels exactly the same way. Accepting the fact that you are nervous and being determined to power through it is usually all it takes.
Make Sure Safety Comes First
Whenever you meet a KC single for the first time, make sure you’ve taken the necessary steps to be certain you aren’t walking into your worst nightmare. Always arrange that first meeting in a Kansas City public place and arrive on your own steam (or by Uber or in your own car). Be sure to let someone you trust know where you are, the single you are meeting with and make a point to check in with them when the date concludes, and you are home safely. Listen to your gut. It may be rumbling because of nerves or hunger, but if something doesn’t seem right, forget about being polite and get yourself safely out of that situation immediately.
What to Wear on a First Date
Unless you are meeting for a scuba date and need to color coordinate your wetsuit and polish up your oxygen tanks, just plan on wearing something comfortable that is appropriate for the local Kansas City restaurant or venue where you’ll be meeting your KC single. It doesn’t pay to dress to the nines and wear stiletto heels or your diamond cufflinks if you are meeting up at the sandwich shop or barista on the corner. Being comfortable in what you wear will also help you be outwardly comfortable, which you will be grateful for when the inevitable nerves set in.
Where Should this First Kansas City Date Take Place?
Aside from someplace safe, like a public place, the Kansas City location of your first date should only be limited by your imagination. If you have exchanged conversation about things you both enjoy, like books or coffee, find a unique book store or a little coffee place that is well known for service and excellent brews. You don’t need to make it a big meal out at a fancy restaurant to have a great first date.
What Should We Talk About on a First Date?
Remember that you have something in common from the get-go. You are both nervous about meeting a KC single for the first time! Take this opportunity to get to know them by asking questions about them. Avoid asking “yes” or “no” questions which can lead to a dead end quickly. Instead, ask open-ended questions that require more than a two-word response. Ask the other Kansas City single to tell you about something they are passionate about, a cause they support or (as a last resort) their work. Avoid bringing up topics like past relationships, politics, sex or religion. If it goes well, there will be plenty of time for that later.
Who Should Pay and What’s Next?
The question of who should pay on a first date is a little tricky. Generally, the KC single who did the asking should pay, although that isn’t set in stone. Like it or not, age-old traditions like “the man always pays” is still a thing. Even if she offers to pay, she may hold it against you if you let her. The best advice is, just do what makes you both comfortable. Splitting the bill is always an option, but one you don’t want to suggest unless you’re certain that is the most agreeable option for you both.
How to Know if the First KC Date was a Success
Do you both express interest in meeting again? That is probably the best indicator that your first KC singles date might turn into another. If, for some reason, you can tell the other person just isn’t quite your cup of tea (or vice versa), chalk it up to experience and go your separate ways. If you feel that spark and think seeing this person again is a definite “yes,” you’ll never know if the feeling is mutual if you don’t ask.
First Date Tips are Great, But What If You Need a Little Extra Help?
No amount of preparation, planning, and worry can make that first Kansas City date a guaranteed success. The best you can do is keep an open mind, be willing to explore the possibilities and be willing to keep trying until you finally do meet that special someone.
In Kansas City, you can also contact Midwest Matchmaking to coach you through the all-important first date and beyond. If you need help building your confidence and dating profile or need more personalized dating service to introduce you to other highly compatible KC singles, maybe it’s time to stop leaving things to chance.
Call Midwest Matchmaking at (816) 410-1102.