Midwest Matchmaking’s How Self-Love Leads to True Love31 May 2019
As relationship experts at Midwest Matchmaking, we understand that having a healthy self-esteem is a prerequisite for a healthy relationship. Without self-love, we’re not capable of truly loving others. But why this connection is so crucial is what many singles in Omaha aren’t familiar with.
Midwest Matchmaking on Omaha singles dealing with low self-esteem
There is ample evidence that feelings of worthlessness and self-deprecation can interfere with relationships. Omaha singles with low self-esteem tend to underestimate their partner’s love and view their partners in more negative terms, perhaps because they don’t believe that “a good person” could love them. As a result, they tend to also report less satisfaction with their relationship and less optimism about its future. Further, those who question their own self-worth are more likely to expect rejection and vigilantly monitor their partners’ behavior for signs of it, at times mistakenly interpreting benign acts as hostile and rejecting.
It’s not just that singles in Omaha lacking in self-love view their relationships more negatively—they may also enter more negative relationships in the first place, selecting and staying with partners who don’t treat them well.
According to research on self-verification, people with negative self-views are sometimes drawn to those who see them as they see themselves—that is, negatively. Low self-esteem is also linked with feeling less which could lead people to tolerate poor treatment.
At the opposite extreme, self-esteem can move toward narcissism, which involves self-centeredness and inflated self-views. In relationships, those with narcissistic traits are often interested in partners who enhance their own self image in some way—for example, those they perceive as especially attractive or successful.
Even when high self-esteem doesn’t reach narcissistic extremes, it’s not necessarily an asset in relationships. Research suggests that people with high self-esteem are more likely than others to use “exit” strategies when problems arise rather than taking more constructive approaches. And people with high self-esteem that is fragile and contingent on external validation are more likely to become defensive or blame others when facing their own issues.
How Midwest Matchmaking recommends wielding healthy self-love
Self-love, then, may not be as essential to relationships as we sometimes make it out to be. What seems to be more healthy is self-acceptance—that is, viewing yourself as a basically good person who is worthy of love, without needing to prove yourself or outshine others. A self-accepting person is less likely to burden a partner with either or excessive criticism.
If you are a single in Omaha dealing with the frustration of your own self-esteem issues, or find that you only attract narcissists, our team of local relationship experts can help! Visit us at MidwestMatchmaking.com .