Midwest Matchmaking has a pretty simple solution to the thousands of single men in Omaha who come to us looking for help being more successful in dating: Confidence. A confident man lands dates and conducts them with authority. An insecure man seems to whisper, “Just ignore me—I’m nothing special.”
Our Omaha matchmakers firmly believe that very man has the choice to be either type of personality, and we highly recommend the former if you’re wanting to up your game and do better with local singles. Learning confidence will allow you to project the assets you possess—competence, income, ambition—that these women can’t see.
The signals you are radiating can be subtle and subconscious, so you may not be at all aware that you come across that way; but the good news is that even if you don’t naturally exude “alpha” qualities, a rapidly growing body of research is revealing how you can trick yourself into feeling on top of the dating world.
Below, Midwest Matchmaking reveals 3 steps that our Omaha matchmakers guarantee will help you get more noticed by local singles.
#1: Dress to impress
Men lacking confidence play it safe (or boring) with their wardrobe, and that’s a one-way ticket to mediocrity, so dress one notch above the other guys. Clothes that verge on the formal side — like sporting a suit for a casual date — will get you noticed. Attire is also associated with power, and since power is linked to leadership and confidence, dressing up can instill those same traits in you. Don’t forget the small touches either, like adding cufflinks, a pocket square or a spritz of cologne. Showing women you know how to take care of yourself is extremely attractive, since no one wants to play mommy to a grown man.
#2: Make your body language speak for you
Even the world’s nicest outfit won’t conceal the signals your body is sending, so make sure you are assuming a confident posture! When standing or walking, keep your shoulders back and chin slightly up. Face others directly; keep your arms open and expressive. When sitting, crossing your legs with one ankle atop the opposing thigh can make you feel (and look) more powerful. Make sure you gesture when speaking, but be aware of pointing, as that can come off as aggressive. Avoid fidgeting or touching your face, especially your lips or mouth, which suggests you’re unsure about what you’re saying or being dishonest. Don’t put any items directly in front of you on the table on a date. This suggests you’re setting up a barrier because you’re anxious. Finally, perfect your handshake and make sure it’s firm. It’s also important to extend your hand vertically—not palm up or down, which can be interpreted as submissive or dominant.
Step 3: Speak with Confidence
Specific words, and the way you say them, signal confidence. Use these cues to make your subtitles scream that you’re a winner. Feeling nervous pre-date? Give yourself a motivational, positive pep talk! Thinking about your strengths and speaking to yourself using positive words can make formidable challenges seem less daunting. When on the date, starting a statement with a disclaimer is a turn-off. Examples: “Maybe you already thought of this, but. . .” or “I know this is obvious, but. . .” You might as well begin with “I’m totally inept, so just tune me out.” Also, the more quickly and clearly you respond to questions your date asks, the more confident you will appear. Also, don’t over apologize. Obviously, if you make a mistake like showing up late, asking the same question twice, etc., own it, but make it quick, say it confidently, and then—move on. Nothing looks more pathetic than a man who apologizes endlessly.
There you have it! Midwest Matchmaking’s 3 tips for men to knock their dates out of the water, straight from your Omaha matchmakers.