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Do You Attract Commitment Phobes?

17 Oct 2018

If You’re Attracting Commitment-Phobes, Midwest Matchmakers Have a Word of Advice:

As Midwest matchmakers, we hear a lot of single dating stories, dissect our client’s dating histories and attempt to get to the underlying reason why they are having trouble dating, or getting a date to become a real, flourishing relationship.

If you have a history of partners who don’t stick around, even if they start out seemingly into you, there could be a few negative personality traits that signal a commitment-phobe that you’re overlooking on the first few dates. An article on the website, heartsintrueharmony.com, explains this common dating issue and how to avoid repeating the mistake.

You may have met a single in Iowa and Nebraska who seems enthralled. He or she alludes to long-term plans with you from the start, dropping subtle (or not-so-subtle) comments that seem to indicate something serious:

“Wait until you meet my sister – you two will really get along.”


“Wouldn’t it be great to go on a vacation together?”

Or even…

“Wow, I don’t think I’ve ever felt this way about someone.”

So, you become hopeful and start telling people you think you might have met The One.

And then the unthinkable happens. They do a 180 and tell you they’re not ready for a relationship. It’s not you, it’s them. Or worse: they ghost you altogether, without as much as an excuse or an explanation. Sound familiar?

What’s going on here? You want a genuine, lasting relationship in the Midwest. You’re a good local single. Why does this keep happening?

What You Attract Is No Accident

Are you doing something wrong? Are there just no decent, commitment-minded people out there? Or are you somehow deeply flawed or damaged – doomed to be loveless?

Well, there’s something you need to know that may be hard to hear, but ultimately can be the launching pad for you to end this painful pattern forever:

There is something within you that is causing you to keep attracting people who won’t commit. But it’s not that there’s something wrong with you.

On the contrary, what you are experiencing is simply a negative pattern of your own creation. And because you have created it, you can also UNDO it.

Is Your Subconscious Choosing Your Midwest Dates For You?

At some point in your life, early experiences dating in the Midwest (stemming even from childhood) and prior relationships led you to believe that finding lasting love was hard – that you had to work at it, or that people were bound to leave you, or that being happy in love was just luck of the draw.

When you are subconsciously operating from these limiting beliefs, you end up with… limited options! Because your subconscious believes that finding and keeping a great relationship is nothing short of an impossible feat for you, it LOOKS for opportunities to prove that this is true – and steers you away from the very thing you want most.

So, you will be drawn to local singles in the Midwest who won’t or can’t create a lasting relationship with you.

But it doesn’t have to be this way. Just as you were “programmed” with these beliefs, you can also consciously reprogram new, healthier beliefs that will completely shift the kind of person you attract.

If you keep attracting commitment-phobes, it’s not because there’s something wrong with you. Rather, you’re subconsciously operating from a limiting belief that is false.

It’s the belief that’s wrong, not you.

The minute you dismantle the wrong belief and replace it with a positive one, you also interrupt your usual pattern of attracting the wrong relationships – and start attracting the right one.

You might find it hard to believe that shifting underlying beliefs will do the trick, but we’ve seen it happen time and again with singles just like you who were previously stuck – and are now happily enjoying the relationship they’ve always yearned for.

Just like many of our Midwest Matchmaking clients, creating your happy ending means going to work uncovering your subconscious patterns and dissolving them one by one. Then you need to become very clear on what you want – and don’t want – in a mate. Finally, it’s time to get yourself into the right physical, mental, and emotional space for love, and Midwest matchmakers can help you do that.

Everyone has the power to change the course of their own love life, no matter how hopeless things may seem. That is why the local matchmakers here at Midwest matchmaking have worked for more than 30 years combined helping individuals remove the subconscious barriers that are keeping them from the true love they deserve.