Dating in Kansas City’s “anything goes” environment isn’t for the faint of heart. Aside from the fact that it isn’t easy to actually cross paths with someone who could be the love of your life given the pace at which we live our lives, meeting someone who shares your values, dreams and relationship goals can be a challenge.
Some may say that online dating services have opened up the possibilities for Kansas City singles by connecting them with others who would otherwise go unnoticed. That is true, but it has also created a dating scenario where immediate first impressions can either make or break one’s chances of finding a Midwest love match.
At Midwest Matchmaking, we also hear that the online experience is riddled with KC singles who are just looking for a quick hookup, rather than meaningful long-term relationships.
Those same superficial traits that might encourage someone to connect online (beauty, a skillfully enhanced profile or the pretense of wealth) may or may not be a reality. You owe it to yourself to make sure anyone with whom you enter into a relationship has some fundamental traits that point to their overall worthiness to enter your world and maybe even stay there.
Seven “Must Haves” Before You Say “I Do”
If your objective is to meet and a build lifelong relationship, there is a lot to be said for insisting on specific traits that are relationship “must-haves.” While certain characteristics can vary in level of importance from one KC single to another, here are a few that as professional dating service coaches have found to be essential to ensuring your long-term happiness in a relationship:
A wandering eye is a deal-breaker. No one deserves to be married to a partner who can’t remain faithful. If a woman can’t keep her kimono closed or a man can’t keep his eyes in their sockets, don’t walk away. Run. The odds of changing someone with is tendency are slim to none. Some people simply have trouble committing to one person and if this is their pattern of behavior, don’t set yourself up for the heartache a philandering partner can bring.
Making and Keeping Promises
In other words, honesty and trustworthiness matter. Marry someone who follows through on what they say they are going to do. If they say they are going to pick up dinner and be home around 6:00 pm, you should be able to expect that they will be walking through that door when they say they will. If a spouse promises to take care of mailing the bills on time, you should know that you can count on them to do what they say they will do. Of course, no one is perfect, and there will be some situations where understanding and acceptance have to happen. It should be the exception, rather than the rule. Wild promises are worth nothing when they aren’t kept.
Willingness to Grow Together
A successful marriage is made of two Kansas City individuals who are willing to do the hard work to grow stronger together. Someone who will support you in your dreams and being mutually willing to support them in theirs is extremely important. This sometimes means taking a backseat to your spouse’s accomplishments, letting them shine while you remain in the background. They should be willing to do the same for you. If you are looking to marry someone who can’t compliment you and provide encouragement, long-term chances of success for your union aren’t good. And, don’t ever choose to make someone your spouse if they belittle or degrade you. Ever.
Hard Work and Discipline
There is a difference between being ambitious and driven to the extreme, and having a healthy appreciation for working hard and staying focused on mutual goals. Knowing you can rely on your KC spouse to help provide for your family either financially or by doing the work necessary to keep a household functioning is not negotiable. Trusting that your marriage and family is secure is necessary for any relationship to thrive. That doesn’t mean there won’t be lean times. It means you will both be working toward the goal you’ve outlined without one relying on the other to do all the heavy lifting.
Entering into a marriage with someone who only focuses on their own needs simply doesn’t work. Look for a spouse that can see beyond the end of their own nose and seeks ways to make your life happier, easier and more complete. If you find yourself constantly doing only the things the other wants to do, spending money or time on only their hobbies and interests or disproportionately answering only to their whims, you deserve better.
A Servant Heart
An eagerness to help others in need is also an endearing trait to have in a spouse. The gratification that comes from giving back to the community, your neighbors and others in need is the sign of someone with a good heart. It is hard not to admire someone willing to take care of others when there is nothing they get back in return. It’s a good quality. Look for it.
It really doesn’t matter if that faith is placed in traditional religion or some other belief system. You want to be partners with someone who has a foundational faith that matches or complements your own. Whether you call this God, or a higher power, source, Universe, or Allah, those who believe in something greater than themselves is an important trait to consider. Doing the right thing, being open to learning and knowledge about the world and how it works, those are all things that people of faith share.
Never Settle for Less
Is one KC single going to exhibit each of these qualities all the time? Of course not. Whether you live and reside in Kansas City or Omaha, Nebraska, we are all humans with the foibles and fallacies that come with being human. Still, you don’t have to tether yourself to another person who doesn’t provide you with the respect, security, and commitment you deserve in a partner.
As professional dating matchmakers, we often work with Kansas City residents who have waited a lifetime to find the perfect person. Through introspection and awareness, you can decide which traits you are looking for in a KC single, which things are “must haves” and which are, at the very least, not deal-breakers.
It starts and ends with having a healthy respect for yourself first and making a promise to yourself never to settle for less than you deserve when it comes to dating.
Are You Looking for a Life Partner with the Traits You Need and Deserve?
Let our Kansas City Midwest Matchmaking coaches help you sort through the many variables that can present themselves in relationships. We are ready to help you locate that special someone in Kansas City with the traits you have been searching and waiting for. Call us today at (816) 410-1102.