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Midwest Matchmaking Explains the “I’m Not Ready for a Relationship” Excuse

12 Apr 2019

Midwest Matchmaking clients complain to us every so often, that a match they were really excited about and felt they hit it off with, told them at the close of their date, or even several months in, “I’m just not ready for a relationship.”

Clearly, for singles hiring a Midwest matchmaker for the sole purposes of meeting someone who is ready for the next step, this comment can be extremely frustrating, hurtful and confusing. When this statement is uttered, it can make us appear we are working with a client who isn’t serious about a commitment, a liar, a fake, you name it. Now, this would likely be the case IF you are taking this person’s word at face value. But, it’s not what they really mean. 

There is an underlying reason why Kansas City singles might say this to their date, or boy/girlfriend, and although it’s not the most honest reason, most people are simply not good at rejecting someone or being honest with a complete stranger about how they are really feeling toward them. The simplest conclusion to this puzzling response is: they’re just not that into you…enough. So, that excuse is basically a very considerate lie. 

Normally, it comes down to a couple very simple reasonings. Below, Midwest Matchmaking explains why your date uses this excuse, and what he or she actually means by it:

#1. They’re just not “feeling it” with you

Sometimes, the fact of the matter is that they’re just not attracted to you. Yes, you’re probably adorable, and the next person will probably find you irresistible. But, you’re not going to be everyone’s type, and that’s just the way life is. But no one we have ever encountered has had the gall to admit to their date (or SO of a a few months), “Listen, I just don’t find you attractive enough for my taste.” So, of course, they’re going to use that overly-used phrase in order to save face. 

#2. The timing of the relationship sucks

Sometimes, it really does take a special person to get into the heart of someone who might not be completely over an ex, or a past relationship. Or, maybe work is hell, or their family is driving them insane, or they’re dealing with something deeply personal. Whatever it is, if there isn’t a solid enough friendship between you two (or it’s not getting past the friend zone), they’re just not ready for a relationship….with you. 

#3. You want different things out of your relationship

Maybe he wants a family someday, and you don’t. Maybe she wants to move out of state at some point, but you’re close to your family. Whatever the reason, sometimes differences can’t be worked through, and it’s better you’re not in a relationship…together. Maybe you’re too ambitious, and they can’t face the fact that they just want to coast through life. General incompatibility can be enough of a reason for Midwest singles to realize, they’re just not ready for a relationship…with each other.

If you’re hearing this excuse far too often and are stuck in your dating life, Midwest Matchmaking can help! Our Midwest matchmakers are relationship experts and know exactly how to effectively match compatible singles with one another so that the “I’m not ready for a relationship” excuse is heard far and few in between. 

For a free matchmaking consultation, call Midwest Matchmaking at (833) 469-5683 or visit us at